Part of my New Year’s Resolution is to write at least twice a month and seeing that January, February, March and April flew by as fast as my salary when I was still addicted to online-shopping (I miss you, Zalora), I think I’ve already failed.
But then again, every waking day is an opportunity to change my life and so here I am, composing my very first blogpost in almost a year.
Ah. The struggles.
I couldn’t even begin to describe what happened within that time frame. Others may have gotten married, may have broken up, may have given birth—heck others may have even changed genders (good for you!), but for me the year was a whirlwind of bittersweet moments that I am now trying to chalk up as ‘mid-20s life’. Yes, that’s what we’re going to call it—mid-20s life. Although in just a few months, I will be hitting my late-20s and Oh.My.Oh.My. Am I freaking out.
No, I am not freaking out because I’m getting older—that’s not it. It’s what I have done and have not done that’s making my stomach turn and churn and well, me, hurl. It’s like I feel that I’ve made a pretty exciting life for myself—traveling, meeting new people, taking up jobs that deal with different issues, concerns, and people—but then not really. It’s unsettling. It’s definitely a feat to describe.
What I can tell you though, dear reader, is I’ve realized a lot of things about myself and life at that in the past year. They are hardly groundbreaking and nothing you haven’t read in other blogs or crappy chick-literature that I love so dearly. But it’s surreal when you’re up face to face to the stuff that you were only able to read about before–the kind of drama novels are made of. It’s like there’s too much going on that you just wish a camera was following you around and then at one point somebody is going to pop out from nowhere and scream “GOTCHA!” but no. The struggles were real; the tears were even more real. The pain was too palpable to consider just as a simple infliction of the mind. Sh*t just got real. There’s a reason for that.
I won’t bore you with details. All I know that it’s also an equally important thing to learn how to move forward and never stop building your life around your dreams and ambitions. Never ever give up on your dreams and more importantly, never ever give up on yourself.
And so far, I think I’m doing well.
More posts to come as the new chapter of my life is unfolding…back to where it all started. Back in Vientiane, back to working for the greater good, back to my old self. If there’s one thing though that changed..I’m happy now. Hard to believe that I’m able to feel that despite everything I’ve been through. But I am, and now that I know what ‘happiness’ feels like, I’d fight for it. Every single waking day. 🙂