A Do-Over

Oh hey yeah, I do have a blog.

This might not exactly be the best opening statement to attempt a comeback for Cole Walks, but you can’t say I did not try.


As I was going over my academic requirements this semester, because you know in the Philippines, school starts June, I felt that strange mix of excitement and panic creeping all the way to my toes. Excitement because I am down to my last two semesters, and if everything goes well, I will be marching my way to a Master’s degree in May 2013. I will be a graduate-degree holder at 24. It sounds so awesome that I cannot even begin to imagine it is going to be Me in 11 months.

Panic because as a full-time student, I went out on a limb and enrolled in three courses, plus completing some (or a ton of) backlog from the previous semester. I might have been wrong, which should not come as a surprise considering the string of undesirable results due to not exactly the best of decisions made in the past, hence the panic-stricken mode I am in.

But I dared. Not that I am confident I will be able to make it out unscathed by October, but, I guess, this is the kind of pressure I need right now to snap out of my multi-faceted wallowing since the year started. I have been feeling, for lack of a better term, depressed, but perhaps, a full year of battling wits and skills merits a star on the back of my hand at the end of the day.

Ahh, Depression–such a heavy and condescending word. I do not have the most compelling of reasons to be depressed but when you waited ‘long enough’ to begin a new chapter of your life, traveling and working overseas at the the same time, it is quite a leap to accept that timing is, well, the biggest bitch this world has ever known, as far as planning goes. You never see it backfiring; it is the fact that you did not see it coming that can throw you off. No amount of Plan Bs, and Cs, can make you feel optimistic when Plan A blows up in your face just because of bad timing. It is the biggest bitch-slap. It stings.


So this is Me, retracing my steps–beginning again. I was very ambitious and driven when I was a student, and I figured that while devouring modules after modules, I can start remapping my life’s plans. Perhaps, revisiting the life before I got travel-and-work-crazy can help me reflect on the rights and wrongs I have committed. Perhaps, I can make things right. Perhaps, I can start over–and this time, I will listen–not just to myself, but to people who only want the best for me.

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2 Comments

Filed under Musings

2 responses to “A Do-Over

  1. It’s always great to start-over. Every time I travel, I am always open to the possibility of losing my way, and more often than not, more than asking for directions, going back to one’s starting point where you were confident and sure on your feet never fails to help you get on course and on to your desired destination.

    • Glad to hear I am headed to the right direction. It’s always a relief knowing someone can relate LOL Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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