So I am thinking that it was a total mistake to pressure myself to do something awesome with my life on this day. Since the start of the new millennium, I have always been wary of what happens when I wake up to a repeating date; I am a firm believer that there is something cosmic about numbers–ill-fated or otherwise. Then I realized being able to complete the 12-year-cycle of repeating dates, at least in this lifetime, is reason enough to celebrate.
Look, it’s Christmas.
In a perfect world, it is that time of the year where kids could not get enough of presents–and adults are just hanging out at celebrations, sipping wine, and talking about work and how things were like during the old times. In the real world, however, it is just another day with more spending happening than necessary. But there is something about the ‘air’, the smiles and the carols that create a merry vibe that will leave you all-giddy and cringing at the same time.
Another reason this season to be jolly is the End-of-the-World prediction; if, in fact, the world is ending on the 21st of December, then I just want to say how thankful and grateful I am of all the things that have happened in my life–good or bad, happy or sad. I can say I lived my dreams. Granted they were not exactly what I had in mind, but in retrospect, yeah, I pretty sure succeeded in what I wanted to achieve. Although my previous posts since the start of the year say the opposite (I swear they did not feel as shallow and depressing during those moments of weakness), but I know deep in my heart how blessed I am. So blessed that I have come to the point where I honestly do not want anything–material-wise, specifically.
I believe I already worked my way into saving for the things that I have been obsessed with all these years, or that I have always been (I hate to use this word but) privileged, hence I do not have the right to be resentful and/or decadent. But I guess all this stripping off brands and gadgets off my list is what comes with ageing, or shall we use the word maturity. I am now sublimely, absolutely and ridiculously satisfied.
There are still stuff out there that would be awesome to own, but for some reason, I am no longer as invested in sinking my teeth into any commodity the consumer-driven society I have grown to love to hate offers. Right now, I just pray my family stays fit, healthy and successful. I pray for the strength and motivation to complete my special problem in school and graduate in May 2013, if the Earth still exists. I pray for a kickass 2013, (again) if we are still here. And you know what, the thought makes me happier more than anything.
The shower of happies does not stop there–The Cole Walkabouts just turned THREE. Three years of pouring my heart out for the interwebz and (hopefully) beyond. Three years of trying to make something out of the clutter and voices in my head (that sounded so wrong). Three years of finding myself. And coming to this day, which I am really seriously hoping marks the end of this bitchin’ quarter-life crisis, I could not ask for anything more.
Although, now that I think about–never mind.
So have a fulfilled December, and live everyday as if it were your last–based on lucky numbers, Mayan or no Mayan [prediction].