I’m not familiar with using a compass. I can guess where the directions would fall based on instincts –probably the reason why I end up getting lost. But as an aspiring travel journalist, I take pleasure in navigating my trips without a proper itinerary because the surprise serendipitous events bring me is immeasurable. Even though I doubt my choices and most likely, regret them within the course of my travel, at the end of the day, I am proud to have made decisions on my own.

I am truly blessed for the past 16 months. I may have been wanting more each day, but if I would just stop from walking and talking and dreaming for a while and look at what I have achieved so far, I could not ask for more. I have travelled, I met a lot of amazing people, I did sorts of things I never thought I would and could do, I felt it was the moment that I have been waiting for –a small-town girl finally making it in the big city. However, some roadblocks are a sure sign of resting and rethinking of continuing a journey. A car needs gas (or water if you got a hybrid), a fare to fly or to take a bus. Walking is great, taking every journey one step at a time is very enriching and can be really addicting. But sometimes, it falls short and limited resources are hounding every step. So I made a decision; it may seem that it was made out of the blue, but trust me, never did a day pass that I didn’t think of taking a step back.

Now, in less than three weeks, with a ton of pending materials I have yet to accomplish, I am becoming more emotional by the day. With no opportunity or, at least, with opportunities waiting to be discovered, I am still (re)evaluating if I’m making the right decision. Is this really what I want? Do I seriously want to leave everything behind and finally conclude this chapter of my life?

Once I go home, it will be another round of reunion with people I missed dearly and catch-up with the latest. It will be my brother’s wedding; I will be there to witness how the wonderful and exciting chapter of his life unfolds before his eyes. I will be back in my old and dusty pink room and wake up at 10AM and sleep at 1AM. I will be eating Filipino food, minus the meat. I will be visiting Palawan with college friends and shoot a 2011 Swimsuit calendar. I will be back watching Disney Channel shows that I am seriously hoping I haven’t outgrown. I will be hailing tricycles again without having to bargain for prices; or hopefully, I will be able to renew my two-year-expired license and start driving. I will be dining in fast food chains, eat Micha’s and hangout at Bonito’s together with the Jocks after a day’s broadcast. I will be able to attend UP ComBroadSoc’s Gandingan 2011 which makes my insides giddy. I will be under my parents’ supervision, yet again. Some college friends and I will be enrolling in a formal Spanish language course and let’s see if I can squeeze in a little French. And well, I must get a job and meet more people.

Looks like coming back to my town of 20 years isn’t going to be bad after all. I remain optimistic that I will find what I’m looking for, my path to where I will call home.